I remember when they banned dodgeball in my school. As an inept nerd, I was overjoyed. As I cheered, the white tape holding my glasses together cut into my soft nose. Was it possible that I would keep a pair of glasses without incident throughout an entire school year? It looked promising unless I had them on while reading and fell asleep.
Cut to rings of disappointed boys playing tag instead of pummeling nerds at warp velocity. Now they had to be content with shoving tag.
Cut to decades later, I am a science teacher.
Imagine my horrified surprise upon finding the reinstatement of the Deadliest sport. The reincarnation uses soft-ish small diameter balls that whistle when whipped through the heavy air of the gym with a whine of impending doom.
I stand outside, lest a misdirected ball find its way to my designer rims and custom ground glass lenses. Pity the children within who are forced to participate. I’m holding a roll of white of white medical tape for them.